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How to minimise the impact of divorce on children

View profile for Rebekah Gershuny
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Parents can help their children through the divorce process. One of the most important things is that children want to be told what is happening.  Once a decision has been made to separate, children should be informed. 

It is a good idea for parents to agree in advance what they are going to tell the children. You can explain in simple terms how their life will change and what will remain the same. The content will depend upon your child’s age, understanding and personality. To give your children the best chance of adapting to the new situation, keep them out of any conflict that there is between you; In the majority of cases it is emotionally beneficial for children to maintain a close relationship with both parents. Children need to know that they are allowed to love both parents and that it will not be viewed as disloyalty by either parent. Try and agree the arrangements for the children to see the non-resident parent; In most cases no parent should be excluded from any part of their children’s lives, and children should spend enough time with both parents so that one is not treated as the ‘fun parent’ and the other the ‘responsible parent’. Consulting a family solicitor or family mediator early on to draw up a comprehensive Parenting Agreement can be very beneficial and is likely to result in less conflict and better communication. 

Rebekah Gershuny can be contacted on

T: 020 7935 3522